Where is the promised happiness?

I remember the time we sat together in front the grand piano at your house. We played my favourite song, your favourite song and our favourite song. You had trouble playing my favourite song, but I didn’t mind, and showed you note by note.

I remember us playing “Somewhere out there.” We also played “God helped the outcasts.” We played so many songs that night. We sang loudly and happily. I thought it was out of tune. But anything that came out of your lips was sweet music to my ears. Even though it sounded out of tune, I felt that it was the happiest and most wonderful music we ever made.

You were the musician in our relationship. You played the piano better than me. I may be the piano boy in church but I was used to playing accompaniment to people singing. You played solo. You were the maestro. I felt nervous and my hands sweat everytime I had to play the piano in front of you. I was the scribe. You always tell me I’m too good with words, and you dare not argue with me in MSN.

You were the one who played the piano for me. I felt contented, just to listen to you. And I wrote for you. Stories about us. Love stories of you and me.

I was lulled by the music you played on the piano. You heart goes weak reading my stories.

My best birthday gift was when you called me on the phone and asked me to hold, as you placed your handphone on top of the piano. Then you sang me “Happy Birthday” while playing the piano. My eyes welled up with tears and yet I smile. Anyone can make you smile, many can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes.

Then the music stopped. You stopped playing the piano for me. I stopped writing for you. Since then, I’ve never wrote stories for anyone else. I can only write when inspired by your love. I wonder if you played for someone else?

I numbed myself when I listen to love songs. Every love song makes me cry because every love song reminds me of you. My heart was still and quiet until few days ago when I heard this new song on the radio. It invoked emotions in me that been long dormant. As Jay Chou heart-achingly sings of “Where is the promised happiness?”, I quietly wondered where mine went. Today I am writing for you. And I am playing this song for you. I may never play like you or match your skills, but I am playing from the heart. Because I miss you.

I gave you the music sheet for my favourite sad song. Would you play the song for me someday?

哥, 说好的幸福呢?